Back to School and a Tree Metaphor
My daughter started Kindergarten last week, and it’s been interesting to observe the cultural differences between France and the U.S..
Is Kindergarten a big deal?
For some context: in France, children actually start “la maternelle” at 3 years old, and for 3 years. The first year is called “petite section,” the second year is the “moyenne section” and the last year is “grande section.” After that, they go on to l’école primaire, which is elementary school, that lasts five years (classes are called CP, CE1, CE2, CM1, CM2).
So in my mind, Celeste is starting her last year of maternelle, which isn’t really a big deal. But I realized it’s very different here: Kindergarten IS a big deal. For some parents, it’s the first time they are sending their child to a school. And to the teachers and staff of the elementary school, it is a very important year that lays the foundations for future learning.
Different cultures, different family dynamics
A week prior to back-to-school, we received an email from the parents association announcing they would have a coffee and Kleenex station after Kindergarten drop-off. I thought that was such a thoughtful way to help us connect with other parents, though the Kleenex part made me smile — that was a little much. But then I wondered: should I be feeling more emotional about my child’s big day?
I think this alone reveals something about our cultures and family dynamics. From what I’ve seen, in the U.S., young kids are put at the very center of the family life. Schedules are adjusted to accommodate them, every effort or new skill they gain is praised and often rewarded. Even home furniture and decor choices are made with kids in mind. So naturally, the first day of school is lived as a big moment for the whole family.
In France, kids are expected to adjust to whatever activity or outing the parents have planned for the whole family, they are taught to follow along and adapt to situations at a young age. Back-to-school is a big moment for them as they learn independence. Parents feel proud to see their child grow, but won’t show much emotions.
The French children’s book that got me prepared
I’ve been reading a book to Celeste at night that I really love (my mom got it for her). It’s called L’arbre m’a dit and it’s about all the lessons that a tree can teach us. From starting small as a seed and growing tall, to being patient, to weathering the storms and having strong roots... One of the page reads “L’arbre m’a dit : il faut apprendre à se détacher” (we have to learn to take off), with the illustration of leaves detaching from the tree to continue their own journey.
Maybe reading this book has prepared me (and her) for this first day of school. I did not cry but I did feel many emotions. I was proud of my daughter for confidently walking in the classroom (without even saying goodbye, ouch!). I was sad about the idea that she’s not a baby anymore (though she’ll be my baby forever). And I was excited for all that she’s going to learn and become in this new year of school!
Who else had children going back to school? How did it go for them? And you??
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