Interview: Finding Yourself and Sticking to it

The story and tips of a world citizen (and my dear friend, Clementine)

Our path crossed eleven years ago in Chicago, on a study-abroad program. We came from the same university in France but had never met before. Clem is the ray of sunshine that can brighten your darkest days. She spreads her positive energy freely and always know how to cheer you up.

There are many things I admire in her, and one is her ability to stay true to herself in any situation. She’s lived in many countries, and wherever I’ve gone to visit her (Ireland, Chile or France), I’ve always found the same Clem I love. There is no mask, no game. She’s a breath of fresh air.

Clem, let’s start with this: where are you and what do you do there?

I currently live in Mexico City. I moved here in July 2019 to start a job with the UNHCR, a United Nations agency working for Refugees. I help simplify and enhance the national asylum system for refugees to obtain international protection in a more efficient and fair way. Before, I was in Chile and worked for the Chilean government at the department of migration. I was in charge of the reception and registration of asylum applications. Once my mission ended there, I got the opportunity to go either to Iraq or Mexico. I decided to go to Mexico as I’m still very much attracted to the Latin American culture, the language, the people, the vibrant food and lifestyle… and I wanted to experience it a bit longer!

That sounds awesome. Is humanitarian your career field? How did you get there?

I’d say my interest for social work and helping people came early on. When I was 10, my dad was transferred to the Caribbean for work, so my parents, two sisters and I moved there. My father insisted that I go to public school to “experience the real life.” I was the only white (blonde) girl in class, and it raised lots of questions about my skin color, and the heritage and privilege that come with it. I think that’s what stemmed my desire and goal to help underprivileged people through my work. When I turned 20, I made it a point to go on humanitarian missions almost every summer: Nepal, Kenya, Chile… Oh, and did I mention I like to travel too? :) 

Ha, yes! You've lived in so many places. Do you sometimes struggle to fit in, or do you feel like you belong everywhere you go?

For every experience abroad longer than 12 months, it has always taken me time and gaining a sense of “orientation” to feel settled in a new place. By orientation, I mean knowing where I am geographically. I would pick a specific building to be my orientation reference point, such as the BT Tower in London, or the building in a cellphone shape in the center of Santiago, Chile, and walk for hours in the city. After the discovery phase, there is the “honeymoon” phase where I enjoy and embrace change. Then comes the time where I feel that I really belong to the place. It’s become familiar: I have friends, habits and even a Chilean or Mexican “family” I can rely on. 

Have you had moments in your life where you felt lost, where you didn’t belong? And how did you overcome?

Yes of course, to this day I have moments where I feel lost. Living among a different culture definitely has an impact on your identity. It shapes you differently and puts your belief system to test. And to be honest, it’s often when I go back “home” (in France) to visit family that I feel lost and miss my “home” (where I live) — because I’m experiencing different things and they sometimes get lost in translation. Always a good topic to discuss with my therapist! So, when I’m lost, I make sure to carve out some alone time to connect with myself. It can be by making my healthy pancakes recipe for breakfast, keeping in touch with friends in Mexico, listening to music that reminds me of my home (Natalia Lafourcade or Gepe!). I also like to share pieces of where I live with my family: we’ll drink Mezcal, make sopa de tortillas… while talking about my home in Mexico.

You mention therapy. Do you mind telling us more?

Absolutely, it’s not a secret at all. I started therapy a few years ago. I had just turned 30 and freed myself from an unhealthy relationship. I knew I needed tools and resources to regain confidence and be able to face any challenges that would come my way. Over the years, I’ve felt stronger and more stable. It helps me be aligned with my emotions when I feel disoriented. It teaches me to be more tuned to my emotions, my guts, to observe how I feel and know myself better. I call it “happiness therapy” because there isn’t one session where I don’t laugh. I’d recommend it to anyone!

Thanks for being so open! Do you sometimes fear other people’s judgements on your lifestyle, or are you past that?

I definitely feel the social pressure when I go home. Phrases like “When are you going to settle? Don’t you want a stable life?” But you know what? My choices are aligned with my values, so I feel good about them. And what I learned with time (and therapy!) is that people tend to project their own fears or envy through their comments… I can’t be responsible for that, so I don’t let it affect me.

So wise, and hard to do, too! What advice would you give our audience re: living the life they want and staying true to themselves? 

Whether you live adventures abroad or choose to live in one place forever, know what makes you happy and alive, and fully embrace the choice you make and the place you call home. Follow your guts, listen to your emotions, and don’t let others dictate how you feel. To me, staying attuned to my feelings is a way to take the temperature of how happy I am with my life and how good I feel about the decisions I make.

Any final words?

We have one life, it is ours. We should live it the way we want to live it, not how society wants you to live it. Create your own happiness!